August 11, 2009

toilets and woman's place in life...

First off, Bug just flushed the toilet. I'm pretty sure that's a milestone, must have lost the sticker for the calendar...

And there goes the water bill...

I hope there isn't a time limit to spring cleaning because apparently spring lasts all summer in these parts. I'm going room by room in an orderly fashion and getting every little thing perfect before I move on and...


I'm trying to do every single thing and once and everything is getting in the way of everything else. We can hardly walk through the bedroom and I keep loosing things. Bear is getting a little frustrated. But there is hope...sort of.

Bug's room has a floor. Who knew???

Part of this so called spring cleaning fiasco is envolves putting Bug's old clothes and out gorwn baby gear on craigslist. My aunt wants me to do this big consignment sale thing with her but I figured by the time I priced everything and hauled it an hour out of town I could make about twice as much doing it 'hillbilly' style. Not quite as classy, infinently easier.

So, one of the things I put on these was two bulk pacages of wipes. For 3 dollars. I don't know how many wipes were in each one but all together it amounts to about 10 lbs of Huggies o-riginals. A lady wrote me about them, asked how many there were, etc. I told her and she then ready for this...that she would have to ask her husband. 3 dollars. Of something incredibly useful.

The LAST thing I want to sound like is a feminazi, but really??? And yes, I just used 'feminazi' in normal speech, I grew up listening to Rush Limbaugh. Get over it.

I own a denim skirt, A denim skirt. ONE.
My hair is a reasonable length.
My husband and I have never been inside a church at the same time. Not even on our wedding day.

That said I hold a surprisingly concervative point of view on the place and role of women in the house. I will get to this is a second.

For now let me just say that I do not have to ask Bear about every little thing that I do. Big things yes, but little things no. Because he trusts me. He trusts me to make intelligent decisions about how to manage our money and run our house. I love him for it. He frequently calls me his 'cheif financial advisor,' not because I am so amazing at managing money, but because he respects what wisdom I may have to offer on the subject. To each their own but I don't understand the usefulness of a woman in a relationship where she cannot make a 3 dollar purchase. I realize I am probably reading into that statement WAY too far...

In other news, CNN did a piece on the waining integrity of the 'mommy blogger.' Read here. I have not encountered the issue described in the article but my concern is with the comments. Frankly I am shocked. Appalled. Not to mention a little outraged.

I'll take it favorite comment by favortie comment.

'how about these women get real jobs? Most children I know who have a stay at home mother are spoiled, indulgent, coddled and the mothers generally feel as though their children can do no wrong. How about teaching them that mommy is just as smart as daddy and that you have to take responsibility for your actions and contributing monetarily to the household is important. I can tell you that is not what most stay at home moms teach. additionally, after reading some of those blogs, it scares me to think that these women think that what they write about is important in the general scheme of the world.'

Define 'real job'...
Personally I do not want to teach my son that I can be a 'productive' member of society by bringing home my share of the bacon. I do not want to shove him in daycare so I can make MORE money so we can have MORE stuff. Because children care about stuff. I am not demonizing working mothers, we all do what we have to. But a child will not understand that for eight hours a day mommy is doing a good thing by subscribing to scociety's idea of 'right.' They will not value the work being done while they are in daycare. Why? Because no one will take the time to teach them.
Enter mom. Here is what I want to teach my son. I want to teach him that daddy leaves us every day and works very hard so we can have a nice house and food and get clothes. I want to explane that it is our job to value that work by being frugal and loving daddy when he comes home. Children can understand that. They love love, not money. This mentality is being responsible for your actions and contributes not only to the household but to the soul. And does that sound, 'spoiled, indulgent, and coddled' to you? To me this sounds like training a servant's heart.

And yes, the writings of mommy bloggers are important to the general scheme of the world. It is home, it is love, it is children. If these things were a little more important I don't think we would have so many problems today. This is a very ignorant person.


'to Moms everywhere:

Put down the laptop! Put down the blackberry! Pay attention to your kids rather than blogging about it! '

Ummm, I sorry these mothers take a few moments each day away from their children to blog. Here's something to think about. They aren't drinking, they aren't out with friends, they aren't shopping. For these mothers their 15 minutes of quiet involves writting...about their children!!! WOW, amazing! They love their kids so much, they want to talk about them even when they are trying to take a break. These kids aren't the once being neglected. I'm guessing it's been a while since the average woring mom spent a rainy afternoon splashing with their toddler or covering the kitchen with shaving cream to learn the alphabet. Just a hunch...

'My experience in reading blogs written by mothers (sorry, I just canNOT bring myself to say the "MB" words) is that the vast majority of them are nothing more than women who feel they must tell everyone what good mothers they are. They are also judgemental and supercilious. Yes, there are a few good ones, but they are completely overwhelmed by the "my children are perfect because I'm a perfect mother". Get away from the computer (most of the time) and your kids (some of the time) and get some personal time. THEN you'll be able to parent.'

This just confuses me. I think this person needs to be directed here but I'm not sure.

'I put "mommy blogs" right up there with Bridezilla - women who are in an incredibly lucky position that millions of women would love to be in but still find a way to complain. Seriously. Have you ever read them? They get to stay home with their kids and have someone else pay the bills but somehow their life is just so hard. Please!'

Someone else doesn't just pay the bills. Someone else leaves his family and the comfort of home, drives in a total clunker, works eight long hard hours, sometimes more, feels bad because he can't provide the best newest and brightests, then depends on the industry and frugality of his whole family to make his paycheck pay the bills, buy food, clothes, gas, and everything else requiered. This commenter has insulted every family of 6, 7, 8 living on a single paycheck. Yes, we are fortunate, yes we are thankful for our possition. But luck has nothing to do with it. We work for what we have and we work to live without the things we don't have. Not to mention this person has never spent a day alone with a child, much less several in succession.

And my personal favorite...

'WOW what a scoop

"Women wasting time by spouting their opinions and demonstrating lack of ethics"

what's tomorrow's story? Sun rises in East '

Ummmm, come again??? I can't even discuss this. -insert response here-

The overwhelming disrespect towards mothers and homelife in the world today in so upsetting. I would have thought that with the current movement towards simplicity it would get better. As society we are completely uneducated about simplitiy. No one can cook, no one can sew, forget growing your own food. Well, no on except some of the evil mommy bloggers. Who is going to teach the next generation these dying skills? Mothers. I don't get it. You are darned if you do, darned if you don't. This is a subject that has been mulled over so many times that I won't spend any more time on it. The people who matter value me and I value them and that is about all that counts...


  1. Ooooh....those comments make me MAD! I save almost $1000 a month by being home with Cakes, not to mention all the money I save with frugal efforts that I wouldn't have time for if I worked outside the home. That savings is close to the salary I would probably earn if I worked outside the home.

    Also, I went through so much to have my children, so why would I pay someone else to raise them, just so I can "contribute monetarily to the household?" Grrrrrr.....

    Good post Katy.

  2. No wonder you don't have a job. Your grammar and spelling are atrocious.

  3. Dear Anonymous poster,

    Why are the negative commenters always anonymous?

    I published this comment because I couldn't figure out which atrocious spelled and grammared post it was referring to. And now I am too stupid to figure out how to delete it.

    Mr. (or Mrs.) Anonymous, while I realize you are probably too busy contributing to humanity and searching the blogosphere for venues to spread your joy and cheer to ever read my blog again, allow me to just say this. If you read that entire, rather long, politically and emotionally charged post, and the only thing you can eek out of it is my lack of grammatical correctness, then I pity you. I would like to inform you that the reason my spelling is poor is because I am actually a genius and my brain functions on a high level than that of the general populous. My advance synapses simply can not be bogged down by petty issues such as these. My grammar is lacking because I am fluent in 15 languages and occasionally become confused.

    When I last attended school I had a full ride scholarship in electrical engineering, which I maintained for 3 years with a 3.95 GPA. I received emails from potential employers almost daily. I recently decided, however, that I am not to be bother by such studies and will instead dedicate my life to the celebration of life itself as a midwife. I believe dealing with God's own handiwork aught to be satisfying enough for me. The good news is that babies can't read and will not be put out by my brilliance.

    To you, oh Anonymous one, I extend a challenge. I will get a job just as soon as you get a life.


  4. I am writing this post to point out several corrections that need to be made to your post:

    According to you, "I am actually a genius and my brain functions on a high level than that of the general populous."

    Two clear errors:
    high should be "higher"
    populous should be "populace"

    I could go on and on.

    Further on in the blog , you write "aught" which should be written as "ought".... even my eleven year old knows that one.

    As far as your sentence that contains the phrase,"atrocious spelled and grammared post" do I even begin to point out the egregious errors contained in this sentence?

    It sounds like you make more than an "occasional" mistake.

    You received a 3.95 GPA for electrical engineering? It sounds like you should stick with numbers, rather than writing.

    As a biology major, I am confused by the reference you make to your "advanced synapses". Synapses are the chemical junctions between two nerve cells. I am not sure how the junction between two nerve cells can be deemed as "advanced". Give me a break!

    Genius... I am truly not convinced.
    By the way, I'll get a life when you purchase a grammar book.